Kenangan Yang ditinggalkan 2011

hari ini 31.12.2011.. hari terakhir untuk tahun ini, 2011 akan melabuhkan tirai penutupnya.. esok nak melangkah ke tahun baru..

terlalu banyak peristiwa, terlalu banyak kenangan yang bakal ditinggalkan untuk tahun ini bagi membuka tirai baru 2012.. agak-agak azam tahun ni dan tahun-tahun lepas da tercapai semua atau belum pun x pasti.. hemmm...untuk tahun depan ni azam nak jadi mommy yg baik untuk baby yg bakal lahir somewhere in end january or early february.. amenn..hopefully kami akan diberikan Tuhan keberkatan dan kesihatan yang baik untuk tahun depan, di murahkan rezeki lagi la hendaknya...

kalau nak imbas balik apa yang berlaku di 2011 ni rasanya 1 buku pun xmuat nak cerita.. apa pun semua yang baik tu boleh la di jadikan pedoman, yang buruk tu dijadikan iktibar untuk hari-hari yang mendatang.. semua orang pasti mengharapkan apa yang terbaik untuk hari seterusnya.. 

kenangan itu adakalanya kita boleh simpan selamanya, adakalanya ia cuma sementara dan kita akan lupakannya...

antara ceritanya..

6 bulan selepas wedding di kl.. sampai masanya untuk wedding reception di kk pula..macam-macam hal berlaku tapi dengan izin Tuhan segalanya berjalan dengan lancar walau banyak kekurangan tapi sokongan keluarga yang xpernah lekang dari sisi menguatkan segalanya.. thanks a lot my lovely family... xsampai 2 weeks after the reception im back to kl and i receive the goods news.. im been confirmed pregnant, at that time its already 6weeks..really thankful to God for giving such a wonderful gift in our life... but..the goods news come together with unwanted news too.. masa tu da blank xtau nak fikir apa.. the doctor said, i got cyst next to the fetus.. masa tu cyst is around 4cm in size.. i need to check every 2 weeks..control my eating habits and everything..lower abdomen pain also so terrible..according to the doctor, if the cyst is getting bigger i need to go for operation after 3mths but how since im carrying a lil inside.. whatever is it, effect is always there..but when the doctors said sometimes when the baby grow bigger the cyst will dissapear.. and i just hope for the miracle for that..whatever the doctor said, whatever the advice i follow to make sure everything gonna be ok.. i stand  lower belly pain for a few weeks, at that time i only take vege and fruits in my meal to avoid more activation of the cyst.. after 12weeks the lower belly pain is slowly dissapear..and i hope its will dissapear forever.. at 15weeks i have appointment with O&G specialist to confirmed either need to go for operation or not.. huh.. debaran sungguh masa tu.. waiting..checking..scanning...consultation..checking..& results... fuhhhh.. they said the baby is getting bigger than the actual weeks..at first they cannot find where the cyst go..rupanya cyst tu lari pg belakang baby.. but the the doctor said the cyst have no growth at all so no need to go for operation, lagi pun operation will harm the baby since the baby is too bigger for 15weeks.. the only advice is when there is a pain, directly see the doctor... and  Thanks God until now its already 35weeks and everything getting normal and smoothly..that is the miracle i hoping for for the rest of my life..God is always Good... 

harap-harap semuanya ok sampai delivery.. xsabar nak jumpa baby.. 

bukan senang rupanya nak jadi seorang 'mommy'..carrying a baby inside is tough enough.. and i really respect my mom for that..dia mampu untuk memberikan kehidupan for her twelve children without any rungutan..sebab tu bila tengok orang marah mak dia, xhormat mak, xnak jaga mak, tinggikan suara dengan mak..saya memang tersentuh..setakat ni our siblings xpernah lagi melawan mak, tinggikan suara dengan mak..

and we really grateful for having our Mommy.. 

Thanks Mom.. we really love you..

its almost 10am.. by baby is keep kicking inside, maybe looking for some foods.. rupanya mommy dia belum breakfast lagi.. sorry baby, mommy is going to having breakfast now...

til here for now.. continue soon...

God is always God, believe on Him and u'll get the miracle.

~~miz adeqzLa~~

2011 & 2012

2011 is almost over.. 

and i still wondering what have i done for the whole year of 2011.. time gone by so fast.. the only one thing i realise is i gonna be a mommy soon.. very soon... that the only things i can keep in my mind..

too many things happen, too many things left over.. 

i only have another 1month to go before the due date, already 35weeks left..huh, the time is really unstoppable.. hopefully everything going to be ok.. the only things the only HOPE for now is my healthy.. by lil baby inside healthy and perfect.. 

til here for now, need to have some rest.. its start to feel the pain down there.. lil baby is start tu moving around.. please baby give mommy some rest..

~~miz adeqzLa~~

Kahwin tanpa Cinta @ Kahwin Paksa Rela

Terbaca di suratkhabar baru-baru ni tentang seorang artis yang terpaksa memutuskan perhubungan dengan kekasihnya untuk berkahwin dengan gadis pilihan ibunya yakni sepupunya sendiri...
terfikir pula di zaman millenium ni zaman serba canggih masih ada rupanya yang mengamalkan cara penentuan jodoh mengikut pilihan keluarga..
cerita terakhir yang aku dengar tentang kahwin pilihan keluarga ni sahabat baik aku sendiri 3 tahun yang lepas.. terlalu lama menyulam cinta yang tidak pernah berkesudahan akhirnya keluarga memutuskan untuk menjodohkan dia dengan sepupunya sendiri. masa tu pun usia dia dan menjangkau 27tahun, mungkin sudah terlalu tua bagi orang-orang tua kita dulu..walaupun dijodohkan tapi dia tidaklah di paksa kira paksa rela gitu.. hasilnya dia bahagia walaupun cinta itu datang selepas kahwin..

teringat abang long aku, dia masih membujang lagi sampai sekarang, umurnya pun da lebih kurang 41 tahun.. bukan tiada perempuan yg nak kat dia pun tapi dia yang xnak kahwin lagi, dulu-dulu ada gak la orang-orang tua kat kampung tu cuba carikan jodoh untuk dia tapi dia mengamuk xnak kahwin lagi.. dia kata 'kalau polis xtangkap orang yang xnak kahwin atau mahkamah xsaman dia sebab dia xnak kahwin dia lagi suka hidup bujang katanya'.  korek-korek cerita akhirnya dia kata, dia xnak kawin sebab dia kerja xbagus sangat nanti dia xnak menyusahkan anak orang nanti xcukup makan la, diri sendiri pun cukup-cukup makan jer macam mana nak tanggung anak orang itu kan menyeksa katanya..

Mama dengan arwah bapa dulu pun kawin keluarga yang tentukan, mama selalu cerita masa tu dia baru abis sekolah.. dia nak sambung belajar nak sangat jadi cikgu tapi nenek xbagi kena paksa kawin dengan arwah bapa..masa tu bapa duda lagi la mama xnak sangat kawin tapi sebab nenek dengan atuk kawin juga walau hati xrela..(macam kawin paksa la ni).. hidup bahagia pun walau sesekali ada pertelingkahan tu da jadi asam garam hidup berumahtangga, lahir juga kami satu team bola sepak. :-) [ rindu dengan arwah bapa :-( ]

hmmm...bagi aku la kan, jodoh itu kan janji Allah, bila sampai waktunya kita akan kahwin cuma kita di beri pilihan untuk menentukan yang terbaik bagi kita.. hasilnya akan bergantung kepada jalan pilihan kita sendiri..
kalau bab-bab jodoh ni susah nak cakap pun, kadang-kadang ada yang bercinta bagai nak rak bertahun-tahun tapi bila kahwin tup-tup dengan orang lain pula.. itu namanya jodoh, semuanya ketentuan Tuhan.. sejauh manapun kita merancang tetapi di penghujungnya tetap Tuhan yang menentukan segalanya..
lagipun perkahwinan itu kan satu tanggungjawab yang perlu disulami dengan kasih sayang dibajai dengan baja cinta .. bila hanya tanggungjawab yang dijadikan sandaran tanpa cinta maka hilanglah rasa bahagia dalam perkahwinan.. kosong lah rasa kehidupan, dan macam-macam perkara yang selalu menjadi alasan untuk berpisah dan mencari yang lain.. dah hilang rasa cinta la, dulu pilihan keluarga rasa cinta itu xpernah ada sekarang baru bertemu cinta la..ada yang kelihatan cukup sempurna dan bahagia tapi tetap mencari lain dengan alasan kehidupan mereka sempurna tapi rasa cinta itu xpernah hadir..

tapi kalau ada cinta pun xsemestinya dapat menjamin kebahagian dan rumahtangga yang kekal.. dah terlalu banyak cerita yang kita dengar kan bercinta 10tahun, bertunang berbulan-berbulan ada yang bertahun-tahun tapi bila kawin hanya mampu bertahan beberapa bulan saja bahkan ada yang xsampai 24jam pun..
bila erti perkahwinan itu xselami dengan sedalam-dalamnya.. bila maksud 'Aku Terima Nikahnya' @ 'Yes I Do' tidak dipraktikan dalam rumahtangga, bila ikrar perkahwinan itu tidak lagi menjadi asas maka kebahagian itu akan menghilang, luputlah la segala janji-janji cinta yang sudah dimeterai, layu la rasa cinta itu .. cinta itu kan ibarat pokok yang sedang tumbuh harum ia perlu selalu di siram di bajai dan dijaga, kalau tak ia akan mati..

hmmm...apa-apa la kan.. masing-masing ada alasan sendiri baik yang hidup membujang mahupun yang kawin di usia muda..
apa pun, aku harap perkahwinan yang dibina ini akan bahagia adanya hingga akhir hayat..amenn..



~~miz adeqzLa~~

BORED !!!

bosannya.. xtau nk buat apa pun.. balik2 game zombie yg x abis2 lg ni..
xpun skodeng wall org dlm fb.. org da xda keja kn  jd... begitulah kejadiannyaa...
layan youtube, baca isu semasa, masuk cnn tgk perkembangan tsunami kt jepun..
masuk bbc news, macam2 ada dlm internet ni skng, ada news tipu, ada yg btl, ada yg dilebih lebihkan..
macam2... tp aku tetap rasa bosan jg.. berkawan ngn laptop ni la.. huh!!!

mengantuk tp xleh nk pejam mata, segar pla la mata ni.. adoyaiii.. insomnia ka aku???

nasib la public diary ni wujud, teringat kt public dairy ku yg da berabuk ni, kesian pla.. drpada xbuat apa2 baik aku corat coret bersihkan habuk2 dlm blog aku ni kn.. hehehee

nak tulis apa lg ni, xda idea lnsg.. rasa blurrr.. mcm2 ada dlm otak tp xterluah.. xtersusun ayat mcm coretan aku yg da merapu rapu ni...
agaknya otak ni da berat sgt ngn data, mgkin perlukan defragmented agaknya... baru bole digunakan, jd xda la data dia berterabur mcm statement aku yg ada ni kn.. huhuuuu...

ting tong..... ting tong...ting tong...
really, i feel nothing ----> a.k.a BluRrrrrrrrr

~~miz adeqzLa~~

Kebosanan Melanda di Hari yang Suram

Entah kenapa hari ini bosan sangat2.. xtahu nak buat apa pun...

kerja pun xda mood nk buat, nasib baik la pun bole siap byk kerja arini..

isnin yang suram, xda cerita yang menarik pun.. 

bos pun msk opis da ptg sngt time da dkt masa nk balik...

nasib baik dia xtanya lg pasal report.. 

da la byk kerja nk buat, report dr branch pun xdpt lg, documentation xcomplete lagi dia da nk minta report..

memang bt rugi air liur jelah bercakap, xkn ada satu account yg complete, itu bole guarantee..

hehhe..

pastu buat new blog pula kt wordpress.com, rasa mcm isi blog aku yg ni berterabur da la..

ntah apa2 kn, nama dia pun public diary.. apa yg terlintas kt otak aku yg bijak ni aku taip jelah..

da 11.50mlm da, time to tidur, so kerja lg.. perah otak utk hasil yg xberbaloi... apa bole buat, ni jak rezeki yg ada sekarang.. harap2 esok2 dimurahkan rezeki lg.. aminn...

~~miz adeqzLa~~

The Box Full of Love

---

An 11-year-old boy named Todd was struggling to adjust

to the death of his mother. 

His father had abandoned the family long ago 

and Todd was living with an aunt who 

made it known she resented the responsibility. 

On several occasions, 

the boy's teacher heard the aunt tell Todd, 

"If it weren't for my generosity, 

you would be a homeless orphan."

The teacher tried hard to make Todd feel valued 

and she encouraged his interest in making things. 

Just before the Christmas break, Todd shyly presented her with a 

small decorated box. 

"It's beautiful!" the teacher gushed.

Todd replied, "There's something special inside my mom

 gave to me before she died. 

She said it's the one thing I can give and still have plenty left. 

It helps you feel better 

when you're sad and safe when you're scared."

As the teacher started to open the box, Todd warned her, 

"Oh, you can't see it."

"Well, what is it?" she asked kindly. 

"It's love. And you're the first person since my mom who I love." 

The teacher hugged Todd and whispered in his ear,

 "I'll treasure this forever. 

It's the best gift I ever got."

She kept the box on her desk always. 

Whenever she was sad or scared, 

she opened it and the love inside never let her down.

Years later, Todd sent her the tassel he wore for 

his graduation from medical school. 

It's been in the box ever since.

In truth, the gift that keeps on giving is not diamonds; 

it's love. 

The more you give away, the more you have left.

source : http://lovebeats.org/community/index.php/topic,16624.0.html

~~miz adeqzLa~~

My wedding card

feel like long long time didn't visit my blog since the day become busy wt the wedding preparation, adding up with closing of 3rd quarter account at office, its really2 make me sick.. physically.. & totally drained out..

the card was ready early of november but now only have time to upload the pic... really like the design..

its changed 3 three times due to my 'cerewetness' muahhahaa..

but credit given to zack aizat from geliga enterprise for designing such a wonderful card..

here its is..

really like this roses

~~miz adeqzLa~~

Fed UP...

huh.. its a bad day..

everything is getting worst.. seem like no such way to getting out of problems...

all problems..problem..problem  and problems everywhere..

nothing can give a relief.. nothing can make me breathe normally...

all just give migraine and heart attack...

i wanna be free.. i wanna fly away like a bird singing a song.. fly in the sky... 

full of freedom... 

i hate being like this.... i really need someone to cheer me up right now..

~~miz adeqzLa~~

Everything is Alright

1st thing 1st.. 

Praise to the Lord, everything goes smoothly and was settle even not  completely..

hopefully, no more matters arise after this.. im really tired, my mind almost cant catch up all things happened.. almost cant handle all matter arise.. not even small space available in my minds.. but, now.. at least i can have some space to think bout' myself, my life.. my journey..

i wanna have rest.. i wanna throw away all the things on my mind.. i wanna make it empty... just like spam all the things and emptying the trash folder... :-D

~~miz adeqzLa~~

Everything Gonna Be Alright

welcome November.. its 01-11-2010

hmm.. wake up early morning..

yesterday night before going to bed, im thinking that after wake up everything gonna be alright..

but now still have the hard feeling inside..

its true that very hard to satisfy everybody, really hard to taking care of everybody's heart..

we always think that we doing the correct things, its right at the right time right place but...

its still seem like imperfect on other's eyes.. headache again..

we think we already make it correct, but our thinking our feeling never be same.. whatever on my head also never be the same as yours.. 

huh!!! i never expect it to be controversy, i just want to make it perfect even its simple..

what should i do now.. everything seem wrong already been corrected.. whats else..

oh God, now im asking for Your Light.. Im request for your Guidance.. which way should i follow..

now already November.. its getting closer.. and its make me stomache.. huhh!!!

whatever it is, the hope for today is still.... " Everything Gonna Be Alright"

this day of 01-11-2010 will be lovable.. now and forever.. aminnn..

~~miz adeqzLa~~

Aku dan Dia

suddenly, im thinking of publishing the pic of us here..

since its still not official, just upload the blurr one.. heheee..

here we are...

@Su Beauty & Collections 24-10-2010

~~miz adeqzLa~~

God.. Give me more Strength

wake up early, just remembering the plants in facebook farmville game not harvested yet..hahhaa

what a addicted to game til can in to my dream.. sure its not a sweet dream..

yesterday night just meet up with the card designer, and everything goes smoothly as per planning, just finalize all the wording and design, then its should be ready by next week..

in between on all events, too many problems arise, too many unexpected things coming over.. and sure its not the one that give any relief to my headache but its really really make my brain jammed all over the way..

i cant think at all, 

i almost fed up.. almost give up.. but whatever it is, i should face it, should find for a solution..

its not about me, but its about everybody..

i almost blame the unfair world.. but i realize this only the life game, see how we handle and face it..

but at this time i really down.. im trying to keep my smiling face but deep down in my heart, its hurt.. its really broken of all the things coming over.. im still smile to everyone i still keep my laugh spread everywhere, still maintain my jokes.. but its really hard actually to hide the ocean of tears..

im seeing all my dream keep away from me, its really hard to hold on that..

but, against all odd, against all logic, i still hope..

i believe God still love me, sure there are still a way for everything, there have a reason in every matters..

i almost cant handle the situation.. but i remember, God never test me more than i cant handle..

then, im waiting the light of the Hope.. 

God, just give me more strength, i really believe in U.. 

even its simple i still want to make it perfect... I need Your guidance and Spirit..

aminnn...

 til here for now..its rainy day.. heavy rain here

and its working day..

still hope the Light

 ~~miz adeqzLa~~

again..BLURRR....how its should look like..

again.. after a few trial, still blur in choosing the card design..


formal card already in progress, just the informal card for friend and selected people designated and handmade by me still in progress..
the theme is red and white.. so the card should on these kind of colour too..


hmmm... 
i already choose a few sample, and it should be one of these card unless i make changes on last minutes when i started to make it.. its will be originally by me ...
and  its will be distributed at least 2weeks before the ceremony..

~~miz adeqzLa~~

mixed up..

i don't know why but seem like i cannot sleep tonite, insomnia again?? 

probably...

adding up with the teenager's story, a lot of problem arise..

 uncontrollable conditions, selfish, everybody stand on their egoistic.. 

huh,  very hard to handle but to thinks about also can give thousand of headache..

is that how this world act.. 

til here.. i must stop writing now, im really blur,

i need to do something without think and no need to worry about..

maybe playing games will work out..

 hoping for peaceful mind

~~miz adeqzLa~~

the Light for the Hope is still there..

after a few months keep settling everything, now its already on last stage.. going to final..
cant believe in it.. 
thanks God, after a lot of things in out, problems everywhere.. unexpected.. everything is settle.. all going smoothly.. out of expectations..
now, can think of other things.. move to higher stage..
really grateful for all support from family and friends whom never stop supporting me and all the advice, all the words of the day... really appreciate it..
hmmm.. need to do something else, a lots of things waiting to handle..
will 'coret-coret' again next time...

~~miz adeqLa~~

ForgiveNess

its always on my mind.. why its so hard to say SORRY... to say U're Forgiven...
very simple words just Im Sorry and U're Forgiven...
its a common sense that always make us stuck in life..

nobody realized that forgiveness clears the pathway in front of us and give u a space to move forward..
its lighten the emotional burden, its healing the emotional pain..
when we do something truly wrong we always ask forgiveness from others but did we realize that its not enough to reduce the burden in our heart.. even we get the forgiveness but its still haunting our days..
just one reasons.. that is we forgot to forgive ourself..

we cannot move forwards because of our truly mistakes...
we cannot face life because of break-ups..
we cannot move on because of terrible childhood memories..
we cannot meet people because of shameful events..
but WHY??
people around us can forgive us, we can meet someone better, we still have chances to get better life, we are not the only persons having nightmare...
still back to main reasons.. coz we Forgot to Forgive ourself for what happened..

Just look back what is the positive things from the events.. imagine how relief we feel coz finally we manage to get out from relationship that make us suffered enough.. understand ourselves why we did the things happened and why we deserves to be forgiven..

Unforgiven - its like an invisible prison, nobody never manage to see it  but are nonetheless there.. and we are the warden for our own prison..
sometimes we feel that we dont deserves to be forgiven.. we rather to carry out the pains in our heart coz we thinks that is what we deserves.. but we are totally WRONG..

if others unable to forgive us we still have the forgiven from ourself.. Release all the pains in our hearts that always beating us mentally, let go our past then we can deal with our current life more easily, freeing from our private prison that we never see..

the master keys is Forgiveness..

i've trying it.. and its allowed  me to move on to a new level of living.. it enables me to forgive such that after 12yrs and could finally let go all the past and forgive them.. now i feel free from all the negativity, grateful and peaceful.. everything is possible and im able to see the new and kinder eyes..

just stop beating ourself up all the time, stop hating and try to love life.. how scary the life is we should love life and thankful for what we have..

Forgivenes - its a gift, even a billionaire wont afford to buy it..

                   its like a bouquet of flower that always cheer we up..

Forgiveness ~~ That moment inside of you where you forgive what's happened is the moment when you are enlightening yourself ~~~ John Roger~~~

                                   ~~~~miz aDeqLa~~~ 12.41am : 01-09-2010~~~~

cEriTa sEkEpinG haTi

Hati..

siapa yang tau isi hatinya..

siapa yang dapat selami apa kata hatinya..

siapa yang dapat merungkai segala rahsia hatinya..

apa yang orang nampak senang itu hanya di luaran.. tiada siapa yang tahu andai ia sedang menempuh jalan yang paling sukar..

siapa yang sedar...

siapa tahu andainya di sebalik senyum manisnya.. di sebalik tawa rianya tersembunyi seribu kepahitan..sejuta kedukaan yang sukar dirungkaikan..

siapa pun takkan sedar.. dari gerak langkahnya.. dari lincah gayanya, tersembunyi seribu satu macam rahsia yang tak pernah di lerai, rahsia yang tersimpul erat, tersimpan rapi..

dalam satu gurauan, dalam gelak tawanya.. siapa yang sedar gurauan itu mengoyak luka lamanya.. siapa yang tahu jika tawanya itu adalah luapan hati yang sedang terluka..berdarah walau tak kelihatan..

siapa yang tahu andai senyum manisnya itu adalah untuk menutup jiwa yang sedang bergoncang, berkocak..melindungi kegelisahan diri..

tak siapa yang sedar..

apa yang orang tahu..jika dia diam merenung kertas..

menatap meja mengadap kerja yang menimbun.. apa yang orang fikir..

siapa tahu.. hati itu..

disana tersembunyi sebuah hati yang terluka..

why doesn't anyone believe in loneliness..

~~~miz aDeqLa~~~

haRi yanG inDah unTuk JiwA yaNg tEnanG

wake up in the morning...
wah.. already late.. cant hear the alarms..
but still have time to write here.. <(^0^)>

sEmaLam tidur LEna, mimpi pun yang bEst2 jak.. hopefully hari ni pun seindah mimpi semalam..
already 7.06am.. must go now to work otherwise i'll be late, and $10 from my salary will be cut for coming late.. huh!!
bila la jadi bos sendiri ni, xpayah kena tolak gaji kalau datang lambat.. {keep dreaming}

time to works now.. continue later..

Image by Ryan Forsythe via Flickr

have a nice day
~~~miz adeqz~~~

i'm bLurr

start2 buat blog da bluRR...

tengah malam da pun, td ramai sgt
gangguan luar..

book tiket airasia pun kejap2
buzz..buzz.buzz.. mungkin memang macam tu kalo ada promo tiket lagi2 time raya..
harga tiket pun kejap2 naik.. tgh2 nak bayar tetiba pla error.. huh!! pening
otak, mata pun da berbintang2 tgk skrin laptop.. hampir 2jam baru bole confirmed
booking dgn airasia just for my little sister yang memang little..
<(^0^)>..

MAS mahal sgt 1way pun da double with
airasia 2way.. bajet2..

skng da 12.16 am midnight, mata pun
makin layu, esok confirm mengantuk kt office, da la tgh buat closing account ni,
due date da sampai tp still xbole submit report, confirmation pun xboleh print
lagi warehouse xcomplete lagi..hmmm..kena menunggu lagi.. tapi ok juga coz boleh
balik on time malas nak stayback dengan scanner2 kt office tu, buat sakit mata,
sakit telinga jak..

hmmm,... apa aku nak buat erk.. da
bosan layan fb, sebab tu try buat blog pula.. isi masa lapang..skng kena layan
zzzz dlu cari ilham, siapa tau ilham datang dalam mimpi..
(^_^)


~~~miz aDeqLa~~~